Before the real pain begins


The shop is quiet today, save the occasional sound of a machine punch and the drone of a buffer.  The phone has not rang and the mouse clicks of solitaire can be heard in the other office…lol.

This developmental psychologist was on the “Today Show” this morning and I had to find this article since she is a mom of three grown sons.  I always look ahead BUT this article reminds me to remain planted in the present.  I have to enjoy my parenting experience now even as, at 7:25 this morning, my 7 year old is throwing a fit that the older two boys are staring at him eating breakfast.  And why is his cereal bowl touching the 12 year old’s math book?

Parenting doesn’t end when the kids are “launched” (hopefully in college?), at 18.  Then the real problems begin.  They need money for their car insurance, books.  They’ll no longer live under my roof and may have friends and girlfriends I won’t really care for.  The process of slowly letting go is already beginning as my boys gain independence.

I was so proud of them yesterday.  They came home with glowing report cards but, what meant more to me than the letter grade, was that they were proud of themselves.  They had set their goals, without my pushing and prodding, and told me to back off if I offered any suggestions.  The fact that they hit their goals, on their own, is one of the most gratifying parental gifts.  In my mind I saw a park, in San Diego, as Dave took off the training wheels on Doug’s bike at age 5.  He teetered as his Dad pushed him off and I remember the look of “A-ha!  I got this!” in his eyes as he balanced and continued to pedal before falling on the grass.  Then he got up and tried it again.  Those were the same expressions I saw on Nate and Doug’s faces as they stood before me; pushing each other out of the way to get to me first.  Charlie hung back, mad, that in second grade he doesn’t get letter grades.  “It’s not fair!” he laments as he tries to keep up.  I took my mental snapshot to file away before the real pain begins.


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