my diverse girlfriends

Verb: Give something and receive something of the same kind in return (courtesy Google). 

The thoughts are weighing heavily on my mind today.  Thoughts I’ve been carrying around for quite a few months, actually, and am finally giving voice to.

The monitor is bright before me as the words in my head are formed in black and white.  Most days I stare at the black and read the letters across the page.  Today I am trying to remember the vast white space that surrounds the words and frame them.  I was told, several years back, to not focus so much on what is written and to appreciate the space that gives them substance.  That’s what I’m doing now.

The bookclub I belong to is having an ornament exchange this Friday. Who knew bookclubs were so exciting!?  At inception, I figured this group of ladies would enjoy discussing books, with me, for two hours and we’d be on our merry way.  Three years later we have weathered many of life’s difficult situations together.

But I am discontent.  I want more.  I want MORE discussions; deep philosophical meanings to the reasons for living.   I want metaphorical parallels in the books I read to MY  life.  I want to know the mysteries of the universe.  Why haven’t my girls delivered this to me?

Bookclubs seem to be sprouting up everywhere for women to connect; just like bunco, boot camps, recipe circles, Bible studies and zumba.  I have done them all.  I read a woman’s blog on how to liven up your group to: 1) Make them talk.  2) Theme your bookclub meeting. 3) Choose the right book.  4)Learn to socially interact outside of your bookclub time period so you are comfortable with one another and become friends.

A simple email with a link reminded me. I AM BLESSEDFifty Shades of Grey.  (check).  Half the Sky, Tiger Mom, Middle Place, our list goes on.  Do I get frustrated that we didn’t get all the nuances in Annie Freeman’s Fabulous Traveling Funeral or say anything about Dead Witch Walking?  Sure.  I like diversity and the exchange of ideas.  We don’t have to like another’s book choice.  We don’t have to agree with what the other person’s saying.

As I continued to read the link about how to have a successful bookclub the thought came unbidden. We have that and so much more.  Not only do we talk (once from 7pm until 4am), and drink (wine is a prerequisite; except for one due to religious reasons), but we are a family.  We have no problems choosing the “right” book.  We usually are socializing with each other; most of the time.  And we have great fun with themes (Fifty Shades and Twilight come to mind LOL).

I don’t need to solve the deep mysteries of life.  I already live them.  And, though I may not always be on the same page as they are; the white space keeps us in perspective.  These women DO deliver.  Instead of fixating on the negative, minor details, I am reminded of the positive. I am very fortunate to be part of a bookclub.  These women really have given me something and I hope they’ve received something of the same kind in return.


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