Family, friendships

Left of Center

HLM MaPaHLM baileys

After going to bed at 1:30 AM I woke up wide-eyed and bushy-tailed at 7:30 this morning.  Why!!?   This is the one day I can sleep in!

In my ear buds Suzanne Vega’s, Left of Center,  is on repeat; which fits my mood.  This morning I sauntered downstairs, after valiantly attempting to get back to sleep, to find fast food wrappers upon my dining room table.  The nights I go to bookclub Dave and the boys have inappropriate boys night and eat fast food; as well as watch all the action/gore movies (Predator/Aliens, etc.) that I can’t stomach.  I tripped over a box of books which belong in my, still empty but freshly painted, closet and a set of golf clubs.  There was no coffee.  I walked into our den, shut the door to the mess (to what I normally would call my downstairs) and tried to lose myself on my digital projects online for a few hours.

I feel a little on the fringe and against the grain, lately, and was surprised when two of my fellow HLM’ers (bookclub acronym for Hot Lit(erary), sometimes “lit” LOL,  Mommas) asked me why I had been quiet.  I had to really think about that, for a moment, since normally I tend to talk; a lot.  But I’ve been introspective and anxious; no idea why.  We read Where’d You Go,Bernadette? by Maria Semple and, as always, discovered fun and unique things about the girls in our group.  I am still grinning upon learning of unusual ways to outsource to increase efficiency; and envious, YES envious, of the very organized kitchen of our host.  This evening I stood atop a chair reaching the highest shelf in my kitchen; cursing to find my cayenne pepper and emptying out four shelves to discover it was on my counter!   Alas! Another honey-do project for Dave to undertake after he installs the shelving in my downstairs closet tomorrow.  He’ll be overjoyed.

I have been procrastinating on completing digital projects that are soon due.  The hubby reminded me of this fact, today, and I had to retort, “How can someone find creativity in this awful mess!?”  I desire to be one of those people who can create beauty amidst chaos but, unfortunately, am not one of those people.  The pool is turning green and the boys commented that they think the one remaining fish in our algae-coated fish tank finally died (he is still alive).  So the real question is, “Why am I letting things go?” 

If you have any good hypotheses for my query I’m open to suggestions; or a great bottle of wine or beer.

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