Focus…

130306 screenshot

…is eluding me today.  My sticky notes are everywhere; my phone calendar, stuck to my actual phone, all over my desktop computer.  My focus is supposed to be on photos, particularly, photos for my kids’ elementary school yearbook.  I have been a photo taker (I wouldn’t go so far as to say photographer) since I was in middle school.  I took a camera class; even built a camera using a lens, cardboard box and magnets.  It was the coolest thing.  And though the chemicals in the dark room were toxic to my nose; I miss the days of handling and developing photos.  These days, Adobe Photoshop and XnView are my digital darkrooms.

But I got distracted by emails.  I am one of those people that, as soon as I see a number on the letter icon, clicks to see what it is about.  I have to clear my inbox just as I have to clear my desk space to think.  One of the emails I received was from Molly at LitLovers.com who is featuring our bookclub for the next three weeks.   This is a great online resource for people who are interested in forming a bookclub, as well as for those who participate in one.  Goodreads.com is also a great online reading community to see what people are reading and to get feedback from authors.  So instead of creating yearbook pages I am proofreading our “Featured Bookclub” on Lit Lovers and reading book reviews from Goodreads.

130306 skyHey this super song, there’ll never be an ending…. and the beat goes on. just like my love everlasting, and the beat goes on, still moving strong, on and on…. (1979) The Whispers

“And the beat goes on” is on repeat on my PC.  Music is one of my muses and this has become a theme song for where I’m at in my life.  I wouldn’t say I have a photographic memory but I do have the ability to recall an exact moment, when combined with music, my mind capturing the mental snapshot.  The electronic pulses, aka memories, that resonate within my neurological pathways create still pictures in my mind.  This is why I am such a photo person.

I play songs on repeat, and some of you know this about me, when I am trying to embed or obliterate a particular memory in my brain.  Example, when my mom died in 2003 Dave will tell you that I wore headphones for 3 weeks straight; listening to the Spirit (the animated movie) soundtrack.  “You Can’t Take Me” by Bryan Adams was the song that got me through my mom’s untimely death and, to this very day, if I watch the movie with my boys or hear the song, my mind immediately brings back the images of that time  in my life and tears will stream down my face.  No kidding.  My sons were 3 and 1 years old but, through the years, they even know that the song is a trigger.   “And the beat goes on” will bring me back to where I have currently arrived; a happy space.  I have journeyed long, with my hubby, and I think my circle has looped around.  There have been days when it’s been oblong or broken.  For the past few years I’ve felt that I’ve lost the beat of my drum; my drive.  The day I heard this song, a song from my very young childhood, brought me fully back to the present.  My beat goes on and on….everlasting…

130306 bookBack to the photos… Just as I miss the smells and feel of photo film, I can’t help it; I miss the feel of books.  I snapped the photo of the books upon our dining room table.  Three of the items are electronic readers, my black Kindle at the bottom, Nate’s gray NOOK cover on top and Dave’s NOOK screen in the background.  I have Consider the Fork loaded on my device, Nate has The Book Thief that he is finishing up and Dave is reading  Sherlock Holmes, I think.  I was handed, Me Before You today so I will read that first.  Doug is reading Chasing Lincoln’s Killer and Charlie is reading, The Nightmare Room by R.L. Stine.  (sigh).  I’d rather be reading.  I’m doing a great job of procrastinating.

To be fair, I spent the better part of this morning hunting down students and staff members, at school, that did not take formal portraits with our contracted school photographer.  The sky above our school looked confused; we’re supposed to get rain, hence the shot.   I’ll try to give myself grace.  I needed a mental break.   Caffeine makes me tune into details and it needs to be digital photos. Time to drink a cup of tea to narrow my focus.

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One thought on “Focus…

  1. Your focus….. needs more focus….And help my poor brain and only repeat the songs nor more than 10 times around me in any given hour…. :)P

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