Whilst at a birthday party, today, I headed to the bathroom.  Much to my surprise I was warmed by a heated toilet seat!  I quickly washed and headed back out to the festivities.  The host of the party later shared the joys of her $700 toilet.  My eyes bugged out!  I purposely strode back to her bathroom, as she expounded on the mulitple functions and interesting features of anal massage; taking the picture.  Our own household has a bidet and I knew the hubs would appreciate this treasure. This, I tell my girlfriend, I have to blog.  She owns two of them!


This was the scene after the birthday candles were all blown out…


…and I arrived home to a dog half-shaven.

I thought this was a joke, by the hubs; but he claims he wants our dear pet to look like a lion!  He had the audacity to ask me if I thought he looked cute.  My other sons seem to think he resembles Simba from the Lion King, and held him high to present him like his father does in the animated movie.  I think they are all delusional.

As the weekend winds down I finally have the time to reflect on life that passed me by.   The Peanuts calendar for today has  the 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV) verse and I smile.

Love is patient.  Love is kind.


I search for the rest of the passage; my Bible beneath the stack of Kim Harrison books.  On February 25th her new book, The Undead Pool will be released.  The Steve Jobs autobiography sits on top.

I am thankful I survived last week.

Amidst the lunar craziness I happened to lose the backing of my earring.  For hours the hubs, kids and I frantically searched our bedroom, last week.  The studs on my earlobes had been given to me almost eight years ago; the hubs surprising me on my birthday.  His fingers had twirled the backings on;  tight.  They had never left my ears until the day, last week, when I noted the earring was loose.   And so we searched on our hands and knees to no avail.  I habitually touched my ears to make sure they were always there.  It unsettled me that they were gone.

We constantly were searching for something.


After enjoying our sons’ Valentine’s day parties the hubs began to search his pockets, our car, our house.  What did you lose? I asked him.  It was an envelope.  He returned to the elementary school and re-traced his steps, methodically going through lost and found.  Our son’s third grade class scoured desktops and floors in search of the elusive envelope.  No such luck.  He dejectedly left to run errands before he returned to assist with the school’s track team, after school.

Later the hubs reminded me of an anti-Valentine’s day party my two roommates, bff and I, hosted on February 14, 1993 as we cooked dinner.  We had still been friends, back then, and the wall-to-wall of bodies that crammed into our apartment were all single and free.  We were the anti-thesis of this Hallmark proclaimed holiday.   We didn’t need to be in a relationship to be happy.  We were young and the world was our oyster!

Love was elusive back then; something that we weren’t sure we wanted.  In my mind I imagined I would be awestruck by my soul mate; the a-ha moment making me frozen.  Breathless.  That night I had sat outside setting up my guy friend with another girlfriend in hopes that he would get lucky.  And he did.

And twenty-one years later he stood cooking next to me.  Who knew?  We wondered what ever happened to her.  Her name was Anne.

As I put things away, high in my upstairs hallway closet, I found a scrapbook brimming at the seams.  I opened the pages to find letters and envelopes from the hubs during the years we lived apart from 1994-1997.  His envelopes bore the stamps of Pensacola, FL and Corpus Christi, TX and cards with sentiments of love filled its pages; including  Valentine’s day.   I handed him the book as he scratched his head.  Neither one of us remembered that I had kept these and he grinned.


The shadows of our past were rekindled; two decades before.  We both read the letters, grinning at our youth and the ardor of young love.  We both were searching for the person to spend the rest of our lives with and in those years we questioned if it would be with one another.  We hoped this would come to pass.  And it did.

And then came the years that would put our love to the test; the times we revisited if our lives were to be with one another.  We both recalled the day I wanted to leap from the moving vehicle; ready to break our engagement.  The years we spent apart due to military deployments; back-to-back.  The tirade I threw, yesterday, at a misconstrued comment.  When he stated that he would ignore my rant; due to the full moon, I stomped away.

Love can’t be complacent.  It is always a work in progress in the daily minutiae and craziness of parenthood.  The romance of the every day isn’t in the passionately long kiss or the anniversary bracelet placed upon my wrist.  It is in the not so quiet presence cooking in the kitchen, the commiserating eye contact; acknowledging the wrong doing of any of our three sons.  The evolution of a friendship and marriage that has survived all of the above.    I thought I knew all I had to know about my husband.   But I consistently am proven wrong.


The husband, who eschews anything French, made the chicken torte that is both of our faves.   I stood, alongside him, creating souffles…frothing and beating so that they would bake and emerge from the oven; just in time for dessert.  Souffles are temperamental; rapidly deflating if left to cool, and so we worked in unison to time it just right.

We labor together to make it work; just as in life. 


The text came later in the day from a girlfriend.  She had found an envelope with my husband’s name on it on the sidewalk, just outside the school.  She brought it into the front office and several people brought it to my husband’s attention.  Someone found what you were searching for.  Today as I showered I wondered if my earring back could’ve loosened in my bathroom and as I glanced down to imagine it; my earring back shone against the tile.  I whooped!  The studs have returned to my earlobes.  It had been a long week.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.   It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


I’m glad my search is over.


2 thoughts on “searching…”

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