It was 9 PM and I was hungry and tired. The eldest son playfully nudged me at the dinner table, late Sunday night, noting my mood as he shared our excursion with his younger brothers. Get it Mom!?
When you’re feeling flat and tired, what do you do? You get pumped up!
I’d been feeling a bit flat, lately and when our tire blew on the freeway, it wasn’t the only thing feeling deflated.
We had been on our way to a grocery shopping excursion and, for reasons unknown, our eldest son decided to join the hubs and I. I had inwardly grimaced, knowing this growing boy was planning to fill our grocery cart with junk that I wouldn’t normally buy for our household, and the first week of summer was to begin the very next day.
As we rounded the corner onto the freeway we heard the Pop! and hiss. By the time we exited, at the very next off-ramp, the person peddling at the stop light pointed and in a friendly voice, mentioned that our rear tire was, indeed, flat.
Our son ended up assisting his father in changing the flat tire. He read from the vehicle owner’s manual while the hubs grunted beneath, releasing the spare from the undercarriage. They worked in tandem. The hubs loosened the lug nuts on the wheel then the son jacked the car, manually.
I sat on the deflated tire, quietly watching as the sun went beneath the horizon. Within thirty minutes the father and son had changed the flat tire; filthy with asphalt but grinning like fools. This was a teachable moment since this boy is now a driver with a vehicle of his own.
We then made our way into the grocery store, filled our cart and headed home to make dinner another hour later.
This morning I made my way to work worrying over the additional expense of getting a new tire; as we prepare to embark on a long road trip in the coming weeks. It was one more thing to weigh me down with health concerns for immediate family members, looming trip expenses and juggling various work projects.
The transition from the hectic school year into summer is never an easy one. I am a creature of habit and routine and it takes me several weeks to adjust.
Transitions are not my thing.
I struggle to stay motivated and inspired. I wake each morning with the goal of having a decent day, to feel like I am not spinning my wheels; stagnant. I strive daily to find my balance as a wife, mother and friend.
There is not enough time in the day to do all things and I have learned to let things go. I must say more nos and consent with fewer yeses to give quality time. To not feel barely adequate. To give my best with each endeavor.
I am counting my days.
I mourn the changes that come due to health issues, life situations, relationships or job changes. In this stage and age of my life I see less progress and more loss and resignation. I am having to process how to let things and people go, gracefully.
Later I found myself in the tire store, tears in my eyes. My tire was irreparable.
I had been prepared for this possibility and as the associate before me discussed my tire options, the store manager negated his reasonable price quotes. He took me aside to his computer while saying the following.
We will take care of you, you’ll see. A call came in from our associate to treat you well.
To my shock the price quote for four new, exactly the same, tires was well below what I had imagined. I would even receive a rebate! I had not expected this favor.
The husband of my girlfriend, a warehouse manager for this national tire chain, had called in to take care of me. I hadn’t realized the hubs had been in contact with him, deciphering what kind of tires I should purchase.
I stood with tears in my eyes, thinking of my girlfriend who passed just over a year ago; leaving a son and dear husband behind.
This girlfriend had been in my thoughts as they commemorated her one year anniversary with a balloon release; two weeks ago. Her unwavering faith and ability to always see the positive; even faced with adversity, had amazed me. She had been a force to be reckoned with, while she lived. She had never been bitter. She had fought with the hope of recovery until the very end.
In thirty minutes, the same amount of time it had taken the hubs and son to change my flat tire, I pulled away from the store with four new tires. I felt lighter, humbled, and the cheesy words of my son came to mind.
I was fated to be here, a reminder from my girlfriend, to get pumped up. To be grateful. To not lose hope. To embrace change.
My daily mantra is to alter my frame of mind. To set a daily goal. To be transparent. To be a fair and effective communicator. To be humble and empathetic versus trying to always be right. I get distracted with the details and negative things that can weigh me down; an easy place for my mind to dwell.
Instead of counting my days, I should make my days count.
I am not always spinning my wheels or getting derailed with flat tires. I drove away, today, feeling hopeful and progressing forward.